The Night it Rained Crimson
by PeppermintKisses
Summary: Sam recounts the night Dean died.
1. Chapter 1

**The Night it Rained Crimson**

Blood trickled out the corner of your mouth. "It's not that bad, Sam." Your body effort it took for you to speak was too much. You always had to be the tough guy. All I wanted was to tell you that everything would be okay. I would patch you up, nurse you back to health the way I'd done so often before. But I didn't want to waste my last moments with you speaking a lie. I now realize how selfish that was, how the words I actually spoke were so self-centered it makes me sick. "Don't leave me," I had said. I close my eyes now and see yours, green and intense, widening with regret; you weren't supposed to die. You were supposed to protect me but instead life was slipping away from you. You'd lost control. You'd let me down.

"Sammy-" you choked on your own blood. I shook my head, pleading silently with you; _don't speak. _Each time you did your life drained faster. I needed you there for as long as I could have you. Each extra moment was precious. I held you tighter in my arms and lowered my forehead to rest against yours. I could hear your breath, slow and ragged. I let out a sob then. It wasn't something I'd wanted you to hear but the knowledge that you would soon be gone was unbearable. And I was powerless to stop it.

The eyes of the ones who had done this bore into us. I could hear their laughter. You didn't know, but at that moment I vowed to kill them all. I swore they'd know pain, and since your death they have all indeed been "handled" in the most inhumane ways I could conjure up.

I watched the light leave your eyes. Your last words were an apology, "I'm sorry, Sammy." You apologized but the fault was mine. I should have been strong enough to save you. The levee broke, and hot tears cascaded down my cheeks. I gathered your broken body into my lap and rocked you in my arms like one would a child. My face found the crook of your neck and I inhaled blood, sweat, and heat. The latter would not remain for much longer. A shudder started at my spine and worked its way up my body and through my limbs. I shook like mad howling into the darkness like a deranged alley cat. I felt cold, yet a searing heat boiled in my head.

"Collect the body." Ordered a voice as icy and empty than death himself.

My body froze. I lifted my head from your chest and stared down the narrow alley. In a daze I watched a moment as the cars passed in the street. Then my eyes focused on the building across the street. The moment that followed was surreal. The calm that swept over me and the brief flicker of hope that swelled within me. Moonlight made the cross atop the church's steeple glow peacefully. The dreadful sensation of being entirely alone in a world that I'd long ago learned was too big for me, vanished. A sign beside the door to the church read: "_Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water." Hebrews 10:22._ The warm glow of the lights from the church lawn shone on my face. The corners of my mouth twitched and curved into a grin. It was the last time I would ever smile.

Then I heard the footsteps behind me and my heart was shrouded in darkness once more. Clouds covered the moon. The cross disappeared. I felt the dampness of my clothes, stained with your cold blood. I lowered my eyes to study your face, vacant in expression, void of emotion. _Full assurance of faith. _Faith in what? Mom was gone, Dad was gone, Jess was gone. And you, you were gone too. _Hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience. _All that remained in my heart was anger. Tears of helplessness and rage stung my cheeks. I don't know if I ever told you, but you were the most important person in my life. I swear it was you that got me out of bed every morning. So I continued to cling to your body and I cried like a baby, just ten times worse. I looked pitiful I'm sure, but I didn't care. You were gone, so what else in hell, heaven, or earth still mattered?

The creature behind me had gotten so close, I could feel its stale breath on the back of my neck. "I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill all of you." I was startled by the sound of my voice, scratchy and scathing. The creature snickered. Then it began to rain. Lightly at first. The air was thick with the stank of copper. A drop landed on the ground beside me, thick and red. The sky was raining blood. I knew immediately that I was creating the unnatural precipitation. My days of drinking demon blood were a testament to the power I still possessed despite its current state of dormancy. Blood dripped from my nose and down my chin. The heavier the flow became, the harder it rained. It drenched us both. Droplets clung to my hair, coated my face and hands, dribbled into my eyes and mouth.

I guess a summer blood shower is startling to even the unholiest of beings. The creatures, just minutes before a vile threat, fled in terror. I watched as they ran at their inhuman speed down the alley, their shadows dancing across the church's exterior before taking off into the sky above. I breathed in deeply, the blood in my nose draining into my throat. The patter of crimson droplets ceased. I surveyed the grotesquely red-stained pavement around us. I wiped blood and tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. _And our bodies washed with pure water. _If you were alive we would have laughed together at the irony. But you were gone. All that remained was my conscience, aching and hungry for revenge.


	2. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

I killed them all and I still feel empty inside. You remember that year I spent living without a soul? These past ten years have been like that. Only it's been worse. No one is fighting to save me this time and honestly, I think I'm beyond the point of redemption. That's why as I lay here dying, I'm terrified. Not of going to hell or finding out if heaven really exists, but of never being with you again. If there is a heaven, I know that's where you are. Your soul was always too beautiful to belong anywhere else. But mine, tainted by Lucifer himself…"I'm scared, Dean."

"Don't be scared, Sammy."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"I'm dying, Dean."

"I know."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"Am I going to hell?"

"I don't know."

"What about you, Dean?"

"I don't know yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't know where you're headed yet."

"…but Dean…"

"Heaven or Hell, I'm following you, Sammy."

Dean runs a cool hand through my sweat-drenched hair and smiles. I smile back as I drown into sea green eyes and a flash of white light.

**The End. **


End file.
